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Archive for May 2017

  • I know I said the next post would be about my music interests, but something that I watched greatly interested me even more. I will discuss writing and music soon.

    My mother was watching tv when she called me into the living room. I took a break from working to find out she wanted me to see the human Barbie Pixee Fox on Botched. This is a tv show my family often watches due to our interest in getting plastic surgery. My mother told me it's the living doll who got six ribs removed for a small waist. This is a person who got plastic surgery to look like a real life cartoon. I have heard of this woman before prior to the show, but this was the first time I watched her in real time. I thought she was really beautiful and she greatly inspired me. Although I have ran across so much criticism about her, I don't think of her as weird and dumb for wanting to look like a real life cartoon. It's nice seeing that there are others who thinks like me, and who wants the same as I do. It's also very nice to have a mother who supports my decision in becoming a living doll.

    My mother then was discussing with me about my plastic surgery goals. She was concerned about the number of ribs I wish to have removed. I confirmed I am 100% certain I want 4 or 5 ribs removed on each side, to have a dollie waist. She approved still, but what displeased us the most were the scars in the back. I worried about how big or much of a scar would it leave me as well. I am still certain I want the ribs removed in the back as well. Still, I'm thinking about the scar it will leave. The only two things I won't get done, and I agree with my mother is getting bigger lips and bigger boobs. I don't think it suits me. For my face however, I plan to get a little bit of rhinoplasty. My mother explained to me that the plastic surgeon is actually breaking the nose in order to do this. I am accepting that for my desired dollie appearance. My mother recently discussed getting the ribs removed in the back, and despite the risk of a scar, I will proceed. Some wear corsets too, but I'm not sure about that.

    The human cartoon girl who got six ribs removed, she did inspire me and my mother on my goals. For me, I want to look like an Ellowyne Wilde doll or Anime character. I recently heard that there are many plastic surgeons in Turkey who has performed living doll surgery. If I would travel though, I would select Japan. However like what I said before, I am settling to get started with my appearance in the United States. Like the human cartoon, this is my dream as well. To look beautiful and porcelain and dollie. I want to look like a real life doll because it's beautiful to me.

    I guess that's all. I just wanted to post about how this woman who is a real life cartoon or Barbie inspired me even more to pursue my own dream to become a human doll.

    Just Watched Botched (Plastic Surgery Show)

  • Again due to how random my mind is, I gotten off topic a bit. As originally an author blog, I will try to start posting related topics. I will continue to post about my living doll career and other random things that comes to my mind.

    After a year or two of taking a break from my writing projects, I am recently trying to get motivated again. Since I have countless projects, I rarely go through writer's block. I however go through daily distractions and interruptions. For me, I concentrate better when things are mellow, quiet or semi quiet and when I'm able to hear my music. It can be hard finding those times where I can really get into my research and writing without distractions. My selected space is hardly ever quiet during the day. I like writing most of my thoughts down outside, in which you would think was quiet, but it's not always as quiet as I need it to be.

    I am currently working on my six book Fantasy series. This is the series I plan to publish first. Now I'm continuing my research and rereading the second to final draft. It's nice to remember I have to rewrite everything one last time. Through the years, my first series underwent over twenty revisions and rewrites. So I'm glad when I finally finish this up. My next step for research is learning French. I have pushed all other language learning aside to study Japanese. This I felt was necessary since my. Also, Japanese will be one of the main languages I will use for my career. So I soon will get back into learning French. Also, I am currently learning about France and the French culture.

    However, my biggest step is getting pass distractions. I am usually able to work better around 2:00 a.m. until sunrise or about 4:00 a.m. This is usually when everyone else is asleep, and it's semi quiet. That's unless everyone is still up or someone wakes up. My family tends to go to bed pretty late. So this means I am often wide awake working on my projects during as what the paranormal investigators call it, "witching hour". This is a time between 1:00 a.m. until 4:00 a.m., when spirits are most active. Yes, this means my house is most active during this time with paranormal activity as well. It can get quite unnerving, but I have gotten use to this. If I see, feel or hear something, I just write it down and resume to my other work. I have a paranormal log from the years of my family's experiences in the haunted house. I will share this later in another post. During the witching hour, there is a cold breeze, the feeling of being watched and a dark eeriness throughout the house. Sometimes I even witness ghosts or a lot of times demons walking about. This doesn't scare me, I tend to shrug it off. This is normal to me. Sometimes at night, I watch to see what sort of weird things I would see walk through the back door. During these times, I'm up trying to get work done. I do find this time however the most inspiring.

    After staying up all night, when the sun is coming up, I take a nap. When everyone else is up and wide awake, I'm dozing off. However recently, I have found inspiration during the day even if I stayed up all night.   

    So now I am gradually getting back into writing. I read some piece about how to actually do this. Many authors suggest even if you don't feel like writing, write anyway. So this I've been doing or trying to do. I will be interested in sharing more about my music inspirations and my music taste soon.

    Trying to Get Back Into Writing

  • Awhile ago, a Chinese woman gave my family advice about staying thin. She compared the difference between Americans and the Chinese, and how so many Americans are overweight.

    She explained that Americans eat mostly 1-3 times a day, but it's a large portion of food. While Americans do this and gain weight, the Chinese eats all day (5 times) but in much smaller portions. It is more like snacking and not having a large meal. Every time you would see the woman, she had some sort of snack. They were not always healthy snacks but she did eat in small portions. It made sense to me, so I started adopting this diet. My family always seemed to snack more than eating a large meal before. Now we make sure to keep this up. With that stated, this is most helpful when you are active as well. Yes, don't just lay in bed all day eating snacks.

    I have tried Japanese snacks which seem healthier than American snacks. I try to get accustomed to eating vegetarian sushi in which I like, but I don't see myself eating it all the time.

    I also began eating only Halal foods. I noticed that it's almost like eating nothing, meaning there is no real heaviness felt. There seems to be a difference between Halal foods and American food, like McDonald's. My family orders a small meal from the menu. Then we continue with the Chinese diet. 

    I just always wanted to try Turkish food, but the first try didn't go well at all. So my family found another Turkish restaurant and became almost addicted to the food. 

    Anyway, I find this way of eating better. I have more energy and I find that I don't feel a undesirable heavy feeling. For now on, I will eat in smaller portions, although I never have eaten big meals.

    Diet Advice

  • The more days pass, the more I wish to have my complete living doll transformation. Since moving back into our house, my dollie clothing, accessories, wigs and makeup returned. I have to now sort the boxes out to find all of my things. The movers did not handle my items with care, which I'm not too happy with. I'm currently trying to repair my damaged wigs.

    I began purchasing and collecting dolls, kawaii decor, plush things, and anything I can collect that fits my living doll lifestyle. If people are wondering, yes, I actually live my life like a real life doll. I practice this everyday by decorating all my surroundings like a dollhouse. Every inch of the house must be kawaii. Also, I am required to always wear dollie clothing, accessories and makeup. Most importantly, I'm never caught out of character. This is a 24/7 lifestyle that I love. Of course there are always room to improve. My goal is to finally complete my appearance and to live wholly kawaii. I have to become completely cute. I find it fun and it most fits me to live as a real life doll. I will further share how I actually live as a doll. Many other girls express interest and amazement, and also that they are certain their parents would never allow them to do something like this. This makes me even more grateful my mother is heavily into body modifications, and that she approves of me to live like a real life doll. One has said I remind them of the song Barbie Girl. This seemed interesting to me.

    I have purchased a lot of clothing, but I must make more clothing. Currently, I am designing original outfits for my official living doll brand. Most of my designs are Lolita or Victorian. The item I mostly need are more shoes. When looking at kawaii styled shoes, most of them have heels. No, I cannot walk in heels, but I'm willing to practice.

    Pretty soon, I hope to find a plastic surgeon who can help with my doll appearance. I believe the most invasive procedure is getting 4 or 5 ribs removed for a doll waist. To most it sounds really painful and extreme, but it's not as bad as it sounds. Of course, I need other procedures done. I'm 100% sure I will be satisfied with the results. I'm not deterred by pain or price. Yes it is all necessary to look completely porcelain. Pretty soon, I hope to purchase an Ellowyne Wilde doll to start my Ellowyne collection, and for plastic surgery reference. I now am settling for a plastic surgeon in the United States only with exceptions. The plastic surgeon must be willing to give me what I want, and what I'm paying for. Recently, I have been reading other living doll's stories about how much they paid to look like a doll. The answer is yes, I'm also willing to pay thousands to look like a real life doll; well any amount to get the results I want.

    I may give a plastic surgeon an anime character or doll as reference or a neutral reference. That's because I just remembered I really would love to become an anime typed living doll. It is an original brand and character, but it's anime themed.

    Like I said I would mention, since I like different cultures, I plan to use different cultures for my clothing and decorating. So far, I have incorporated the Native American culture into my decorating. Soon I hope to add the Moroccan, Turkish and Russian themes. I just love vivid colours, attention to detail and originality that some of these cultures have. My favourite though is the Japanese and Korean culture and decor for obvious reasons. The more quirky, whimsical, kawaii, vivid and unique the better.

    Soon I will further explain my daily routines and my daily preparations to having a life as a living doll. I just find this world fun, whimsical, stress relieving and something not everyone understands. However, it is my form of expressing true beauty and art. It becomes more so like art when culture is included into the lifestyle. 

    Living Doll Transformation Progress

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