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Archive for June 2018

  • Awhile ago, I stopped writing on Microsoft Word because I was dissatisfied with how it worked. Recently, I just learned how it was upgraded from the old version. Now writers can write online, which is better than writing in documents because I learned it's not good to have projects on one single device. If that device is not working properly or no longer works, then all of your work is gone too. I have had too many problems because of it. That's why I prefer online writing because I can access my work on any device.

    Now this would be better for working on Microsoft Word since in the guidelines, you have to not manually format a book. Also, Microsoft added a new auto save feature which is useful.

    After learning about different companies, I saw how Microsoft is dominating the technology business. They own MSN, the outlook email, Xbox (while Sony owns PlayStation) and the Microsoft Office and Word. I am sure they own other stuff as well. 

    Returning To Microsoft Word


  • I already made a post about the Human Doll trend, where young people are transforming themselves into real life dolls, cartoons and figurines: Human Dolls: A Never Ending Trend!

    I did some research on it, and it seems like ever since that Human Barbie from Ukraine or Russia became a living doll, young women have been interested in transforming themselves as well. It seems like both Ukraine and Russia started this trend. This is not what I wanted to discuss though.

    It's not about living in a Fantasy world, it's not about not living in reality, or being unrealistic. I mean, you can still be in the real world and appreciate how dolls look. For me, it's about doing something that will make you happy regardless of what others think, and believe me, people seem like they have a lot to say about us for wanting to resemble dolls. Dolls to me can be beautiful. This is a form of art, to decorate the body, to reach your full potential in beauty. It's about elegance and grace, and becoming a part of art yourself. You are sculpting yourself to resemble a porcelain figure.

    I am getting closer to my goal. To me, this is more than a dream, it's something that will be turned into a reality this year. Life is short and you only get to live once, why not invest into your happiness? Regardless of other people's approval or opinions? Whatever it is, I feel people do have rights to pursue goals, ambitions and dreams and to not let people hold you back on what you want to do with your life.

    So yes, I will for certain get officially started on my doll plastic surgery. I did all of the steps to keep my skin porcelain. I prefer porcelain, not pale. Only thing I have to do now is get a check up, especially to get rid of this whatever it is I have. I hope it's not pneumonia and it's just a cold. Also, I have to find a good plastic surgeon. I still have to keep on my diet, skin care routine and practicing the kawaii, Gyaru makeup and training to be a model.

    Relook at the Human Doll Trend

  • So today, I tried the VR on the PlayStation 4. I've been doing some research on it before buying because I wasn't sure if it was a good purchase at first. Thinking to try it out, it was purchased.

    Setting it up, I noticed you must make sure to be in a safe room away from items you could knock down or you can cause yourself injury. I remember reading a reported death that happened in Russia, where I believe this guy tripped over or either into a table. Also I've read how you have to watch out or you'll accidentally hit your pets if you have any or anyone around you.

    For setting up, the headset must be at the same level as the device that comes with VR. After some reviews, I was unsure what to think of it until trying the PSVR for myself.

    Wow, I have to say it's not what I expected. It's weird how it's like you are actually in the game. Everywhere you turn, you see other angles of the game you're playing, which is an interesting technology of gaming. It's like 3d television, but more of a closer interaction of playing games.

    The first game I tried was a horror game because I usually play horror type games. Well, I play all sorts of games, but I think I shouldn't have tried a dark game for my first experience. You can hear the ambience and the music. For a horror game, it's a surrounding eerieness which causes paranoia. It's so different playing on a VR because the danger or anything else feels more real and more directed to you personally. Wow, that's a strange experience that I can't quite describe. It's really interesting for those afraid of heights or anything. It's very strange.

    As I look more into this technology, I will be posting more on this...

    My First Try On The PSVR

  • Every year on June 10th, I think about the friend who died at the age of 16. June 10th was her birthday, and all day my family thinks about her. Her name was Amber. That is a reason I don't use the name Amber for any of my books.

    I first met her in 4th grade. The very first day, my mother met Amber and her mother. My mother warned me that she may not live long due to how morbidly obese she was.

    I think it was pretty sad kind of because everyone in school always picked on her because of her weight. I always felt sorry for her which was why I accepted her. She became obsessed in making friends with the thin, pretty, popular girls. She would try to hang out with them, and did everything they told her to do in order to be friends with them. However, I would overhear the girls talking about her. Of course, it was how fat she was.

    The girls would tell her to stop talking to me because they didn't like foreigners. Everyone like today, always assumed I was a foreigner because apparently I behave more like a foreigner than an American. My mother and sister looks foreign as well. This made me a target for racist bullying. It was where girls, and also boys even bullied girls. I was bullied by many boys, even physical bullying. The schools I attended had no diversity at all. It made you feel uncomfortable because all non-Whites and foreigners were subjected to severe bullying and biasness even from teachers.

    Before going back to Amber, I must share about the students who were nice to me. They happened to have been foreigners. The closest one was a girl from Somalia. I had the greatest times with her. We joked, we laughed, we had fun and we did almost everything together. Unfortunately, she moved out of the town after a girl pulled off her hijab in class. At the time, there were no Muslims in the town or attending the schools. I was very sad when she moved.

    I met a girl from India, but she only lasted a few weeks there. She also moved after a girl bullied her because of her tan skin. She wasn't even that dark, but this girl hated people with any colour to their skin. Like I remember how she often talked to me, but one day the girl explained how she hated dark skinned people. She then told me that she liked me however because I was pale and looked White even though I didn't have a White mother.

    I remember a boy and his female cousin from Bosnia. Even though they were European, students still hated them because they were foreigners. The boy took majority of the bullying, who befriended me more than his cousin. Almost everyday, he would be fought. The teachers all pretended not to have seen anything. They would even punish him for the fights even though the other boys started it. I liked his personality, and actually I named a character after him. I did this since I already started a book with Bosnian main characters.

    I also named a manga character after a girl from China. I remember her being very quiet and shy. Since I was the same as her, quiet and shy, we really didn't know how to start conversations. Yet, she seemed depressed about being in the school because the students did not like Chinese people.

    The one I spent the most time with was with a boy from Mexico and his younger brother. He came over my house almost everyday playing video games, watching movies and tv shows and sitting in the yard. He was very mellow, calm and fun loving. I do remember him also teaching me Spanish. It was very sad, because I found out he lived in an empty house, and his parents neglected him and his brother. That's why he never wanted me to visit his house. I wasn't for sure if he was being abused as well. Well, he said alarming things and I noticed he hated going back home. I wasn't allowed to have boys as friends, but he was really the only boy I was allowed to talk to. I mean I did understand my mother was concerned for my safety.

    Back to Amber, I questioned if she was a good friend, because she did things so that the other girls would accept her. Like even though she knew I was allergic to blueberries, she would try to tell me to eat a blueberry muffin. She also did other things. Anyway, despite this, I knew she was lost and tried to fit in. Still, this was when I stopped hanging out with her. Pretty soon, her birthday came up and she invited me to her birthday party. I decided to go and found out I was the only one there. That's when I properly met her step-father and sister. She really didn't want to do anything but just sit around and eat all day. I did also feel awkward whenever she would yell at her mother. Yes, she often did that to her mother. I cannot fairly comment because I didn't know what went on in her house. Anyway, we went to a pizza joint, where they sat all day eating pizzas. I don't eat much, especially like this, so the entire day for her birthday, I just sat there and watched her eat pizza. I remember one day Amber also visited my house, my mother spent 700$ on fast food for Amber only in a few hours.

    I will fast forward it to the day I found out she died. My family found out through the newspaper. Her obesity was a contributing factor to her death. Her Facebook account became her memorial page. When reading her old posts, she would share how she always hated herself, she wished she was dead, and she hated being fat. She always mentioned how she wanted to just be with her grandma who was dead, and she no longer wanted to live. On her wall, students would apologize for fighting her and for being mean. It was too late then. Why say it when she is dead? My mother and my step-grandma went to her funeral. I was too upset to go.

    I remember her step-father thanking me for being Amber's friend, because he knew that I was the only friend that she had, and I was the only person who was nice to her. Her step-father admitted Amber never had any friends. He apologized for Amber not being a friend she should have been to me. All of those things that she did were pushed aside. I mean, you don't think about those things during that time, especially in that situation. Anyway, he was grateful to have known me.


    That was the song posted on her memorial page and also played for her funeral. Although it has been years, those are things you just don't forget or get over. After that funeral, we never saw Amber's mother, step-father or sister again, even though we were good friends. I think they moved away. 

    I think her story is an eye opener about the obesity epidemic in America. That's why my mother and I share her story. We share it to bring awareness to obesity, unhealthy eating, over eating, inactivity and most importantly child obesity. It's a serious problem how so many children are obese today. This story helps bring awareness to the dangers of children being obese, and how in the new study, it shows children are actually dying before their parents. 

    A Story About A Friend And More


  • It's the first Wednesday to this month, June. That means it is time for another post for The Insecure Writers Support Group. You can learn more about it here.

    I will just answer the optional question,

    "What's harder for you to come up with, book titles or character names?"


    I never really had a trouble naming characters in the past, but lately it can get a little tricky. That's because I noticed a lot of foreign websites were removed recently after the 2016 election, and I have untraditionally foreign characters in my WIPs. It can get hard trying to find a long list of names if I use a lot of characters from certain countries, like Lithuania, China, Japan and others. I have to purchase books in order to get a long list that I need. 


    However, I think it is harder to come up with book titles than naming characters. It is easy, but for me, titling any of my WIPs is difficult. I keep in mind the things I learned about titling books, but also for me, manga and games. I know the title has to be intriguing, easy to remember and to make it convenient for most people to pronounce. This is another thing I factor when naming characters with foreign names too. I pick a name I like the best, but I try to think how easy it is to pronounce. 


    Anyway, you know most of my WIPs are not yet titled due to this. I am aware not to make titles too long, convenient and yet enticing to say, and something the author would proudly stand behind. For many of my projects, I haven't found good titles yet. I write the project because I could be stuck trying to title the project when I can just title it later, but work on the actual WIP. Recently though, I noticed when I am getting ideas, sometimes I can forget to name my characters for a new project. I just do a quick search for names. Anyway, I just let myself get inspired for the title later on...

    June IWSG Post

  • So I finally have the blog upgrade. It took a long time only because I wasn't sure how I wanted to design it, so I worked with someone after they told me they have an idea of how I should design it. No, I am still not done finishing the coding part of fixing it. It's slow because I am doing things on a phone.

    Anyway, I did say I wanted to post about young writers since I am a young writer. After reading other posts and articles about us, I wanted to discuss this. Well, I don't feel as young as people treat me. I learned once you start saying, "When I was younger..." That's a sign you are old. I do remember growing up in the 90's. For some reason, people still think I should still be considered as a child.

    Being a young writer has its perks, some perks, but mostly struggles. First, I read how young writers may find it easier to write about teens and young adults, because that's what we are. We have an advantage because we don't have to do extra research in order to know how young people think and how they behave. After some research, I picked up the habit that I do mostly write about teens and young adults, around my age.

    However, I did read one piece, advising writers to not only use teens and young adults in their books, but they should use also older characters. I mean, main characters or the POV. I considered their advice, and I tried by using characters that are at least 30 years old. I have parent POVs too, where obviously the parent is the point of view of this story. Well, these are just characters who have children, a family. Mostly, I write about teens and young adults though. My first project, the Fantasy series, it begins with a character who is 24 years old, then the other characters are teens. I mean, the most important main characters in the story. There are lots of important characters in this story though.

    The personal struggle is how young writers are seen by older writers and older professionals. No, no one is defined by other's comments, but constant comments of being put down can be a problem. I mean, it becomes a problem when we have to always prove ourselves; I mean work three times as hard in order for agents, editors, publishers and other people to even consider our work. I think because most people assume young writers couldn't meet deadlines when they arrive, as soon as difficulties come, we'll immediately give up. Plus, there's the dedication to researching for books most assume young writers won't and can't do.

    When I was writing, my greatest inspiration was Christopher Paolini, the author of Eragon in the Inheritance Cycle series. My mother encouraged me to learn more about him when I struggled with being a teen writer. I remember reading, if I am not wrong him publishing at the age of 19, but I read recently this project he worked on at the age of 15. This was really the only writer who I felt was more relevant to me. I looked to him as an inspiration to keep going, and not listen to the "professionals" who tried telling me because I was a teenager, there's no way I can be published.

    I remember this particular guy who was saying agents and publishers are not going to take me seriously, and they would basically eat me alive. People my age have no place in the writing industry, assuming only because of my age, I didn't understand anything. I was 13 at the time. I grew to have a thicker skin when it comes to comments. Now I feel numb to all comments. That was just an example of what young writers go through. I know I have seen some young writers who seemed like writing was more like a pastime more than a career, had difficulties being committed and I have seen strange stories. The most bizarre one I ran across online was a story about rainbow pooping unicorns taking over the world. However, these struggles wasn't any different than older upcoming writers.

    I have read about older writers and their time management, and how they have to juggle with lots of responsibilities pretty much. That's where young writers can have an advantage, but not entirely. We still have things to do, but perhaps our responsibilities are cut in half. Maybe. You do still have school, chores, jobs and whatever else we may do. Particularly, most people assume homeschoolers can freely do whatever we want, but that's not the case. In fact, homeschoolers are given even more work and we never get breaks like those who go to public school. But for me, I went a step further in my education and was going to college the entire time. Plus, I was being trained as a nurse, later I became a PCA. As soon as I began training, I started work as someone who provides home health services to people. So, I did have a lot to do, but nonetheless, I was committed to my writing. I was serious and I never gave up on publishing.

    I wish there can be more writers publishing as a teen and young adult.    

    Young Writers

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