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Archive for June 2019

  • As an upcoming Living Doll, I have been doing some more research on becoming a Living Doll. Well, trying to because I feel the Google search results are not very relevant to this lifestyle because it often associates this with off topic things. I hope to allow others to better understand Living Dolls.

    I read one description saying Living Dolls are women who dresses, talks and looks like a porcelain doll which sounds like my ideal lifestyle. I don't feel my look is finished and polished and so I have been trying to reach that point where I could be satisfied with how my porcelain appearance is. I will completely transform myself into a doll or either anime character.

    On Tumblr and Wikihow, there are a few tutorials on how to become a Living Doll. Yes, it was emphasized on how most Living Dolls are European or Asian, but Asian, these sites only referred to East Asian (e.g. Chinese, Japanese etc.). I do agree and must state no, you don't have to be European or East Asian to transform yourself into a Living Doll. Since getting this question as to what Living Doll would I be, I am still not sure what race should I be categorized as. This is why I've been trying to figure that out.

    The other major steps are keeping a good skin care, hair care, nail care and makeup routine. I have gotten out of this tomboyish habit of not caring about this and just leaving out the door, but in order to become a Living Doll, this takes a lot more than just soap. I have added facial routines, skin care routines that I am also experimenting with things I find online and well, I am working on nail polish. I don't polish my nails, but that is sort of an important step as well.

    Obviously, you must keep up a routine to make sure you have even toned skin or no flaws or blemishes. The goal is to have porcelain skin which is flawless. Now, porcelain, I mean only flawless. It's good to have no blemishes, unevenness or scars. Since I was a tomboyish girl, I didn't care too much about scars but now I do. Now I have some scars on my hands, arms and legs. One is a dog bite, some are from skateboarding and handling dogs like Huskies and stuff as a wannabe musher.

    I was told since I have pale skin, it is crucial to keep my pale complexion because dolls do not have tans or any uneven skin tones and stuff like that. No skin damage or anything like that. My family has a garden and we work in the spring, summer and fall, but I will make sure I don't get a tan or any skin damage.

    Another interesting thing I've read was how we need to end the dumb girl stereotype. In order to do that, we need more educated Living Dolls. Well, I think probably since I am not just a Living Doll, that may help in ending the stereotype. It was suggested to learn a language, but I think you don't have to know another language if that isn't that person's interest to. I know most Living Dolls can speak Japanese, but I haven't been studying Japanese lately. Since I could speak Russian, I have been learning Russian only so I can automatically read it and know the grammar and to better understand it. Instead of Japanese, I notice my theme changing from Japanese to Russian and Turkish. I guess this is okay. If I do not learn Japanese in time for my complete look, I may write and speak Russian instead. Well, Russian is getting more into parts of my own ancestral roots. However, I will get back into learning Japanese.

    The other important step is personality, in which you must have the personality to fit a Living Doll. I have been told by others my personality naturally suits this which is how they feel I would fit into this lifestyle. Yeah, I am shy, calm spirited person and I do strive to be nice. Being kind and happy is the major personality traits, but also to have the mentality of being innocent as well. Living Dolls have sweet voices and I never liked my voice because I thought it was too soft, but it turns out it's perfect for becoming a Living Doll. The key is to have a sweet, soft voice.

     So, this is what I wanted to share about this...

    Rules in Becoming a Living Doll

  • Recently, I've been viewing tutorials on getting a YouTube Channel started. Yes, I am currently getting my channel together and everything, and that does include getting use to talking to a camera. I will make sure to post what I learned and as I become an expert on creating YouTube Channels. My YouTube Channel will have a slight different theme from my blogs and the usual Tikaani Moon brand. I will keep a consistent theme of the Wolf, but since I am an upcoming Living Doll, it will be more focused on Kawaii lifestyle. I wish there were more videos about being a Living Doll. I mean, more channels on the life and related topics. I will give a tour of my bedroom when the transformation is complete. I hope soon I will be satisfied with my appearance. I also like wearing historical clothing and so I will make videos about that as well.

    I know the Kawaii lifestyle leans towards a Japanese theme and yes, I will share the items I purchase from Japan that fits into the Kawaii stuff. I've been trying to continue my Japanese studying, but I know more Russian than Japanese. So I may interchange and use both languages. I love being international and not focused on one culture. For my Living Doll style, I sort of borrowed from different fashion styles from a few countries.

    I have viewed some videos of other Living Dolls and those who just loves the Kawaii lifestyle. These videos inspired me to get going on my transformation and lifestyle. I will make sure to show my Lolita outfits in one of the videos too because I really love my beautiful dolly clothes. Also, I'll show my accessories, wig collection and skin care routine when I finally get one I like. I am still trying to change from my life as a tomboyish person.

    My goal is to bring the Tikaani Moon brand into a human version, which would bring it to an Anime theme. I guess I don't mind that although I at first didn't think of becoming a real life Anime character until recently. However, I still like the Ellowyne Wilde Doll and would love to become a real life Ellowyne Wilde. I won't stop until I look closeness to a doll. When people see me, I want them to say, "She looks exactly like a doll."

    I just wish I knew other Living Dolls or either women who wears Lolita and Kawaii fashion.

    I will make sure to post updates about that and as usual, I will answer any questions anyone ask.


    Concluding This With A Q&A 

    Q: Do you have any children? Are you Married?

    A: I have no children nor am I married due to my introversion. I wanted to address a message from a mother who sympathized I may be incapable of having children. Thanks, but I'm perfectly fine if I can't have children.

    Q: Are you Japanese? Are you Asian?

    A: Technically, I am considered Asian according to my West Asian and Romani/South Asian ancestry. There can be a possibility I have some Japanese percentage, but for certain, I do have traces from Southeast Asia.

    Q: Can you share more about your Russian background? 

    A: As I shared before, I found out I have family members who are Russian, but also other Eastern Europeans. I believe half are Turkish and the other half are Slavic. I learned my ancestry originates from Russia even though I have ancestry from the Mediterranean region, but not sure how. There are hints my biological grandma was from Russia and my mom has a few Russian siblings. I would love to learn more about this. When I learn more, I will share it.

    Q: Which Middle Eastern country is your ancestry from?

    A: Recently, I found traces from North Africa and the Middle East. It's hard to tell since I see traces from different countries, but most of the percentage goes to Morocco, Iraq and Turkey.

    Q: Are you still moving to Japan?

    A: I know I've been planning it for a few years now, but I was trying to do more research to make sure Japan would be the best country for my family to live in. I recently had an interest to live in Germany after learning more about the country. I am just trying to pick the safest country to move to. Plus, I would like to wait until some tensions have calmed.


    Lastly, I wanted to answer a question regarding my health. I don't think it's a too serious problem, but I still don't know why I have severe pain. There were a few theories it was inflammation, an injury or an ulcer. I heard ulcers were painful to have since this means having open wounds internally, but most of the time they are caused by long-term use of pain relievers.

    And, I will be willing to answer any other questions. Thank you for reading and for your interests in my ancestry, especially thank you for your interests about the Russian culture and people with Russian ancestry. To those who sent messages saying they love Russian culture, I also love the culture, the language, the music, the people and fashion. 

    Upcoming YouTube Channel (and Q&A)

  • Since it is Friday night, I thought to post at least something to keep the blog updated. First, my Living Doll transformation was unfortunately put on hold due to my ongoing health issues. It's not a serious issue I think. I went to an appointment Wednesday and there was some suspicion part of my problems come from a reproductive complication. It doesn't bother me if I am unable to have children, but I'm bothered by the fact it affects my overall health and ability to write. It has been really hard doing my job and I can't get much writing done. I must wait for 2 months to see if things have improved or I won't get approved for plastic surgery, which frustrates me. That I learned is only part of my problem, but not all of it and so trying to see what else it wrong.

    Speaking of writing though, I have took this time to learn more about publishing. I have been trying to get at least some pages done everyday, but I find myself unable to reach those goals. Since I turned on my computer now, I may use the time to write some stuff after posting this. Not much has changed with my Polar Qimuktis projects, but I have a new idea for a new manga project. I am just writing down notes and ideas for that. I also added more ideas for a game project. This would fit into the Horror category which has been my latest game ideas I've noticed. My progress annoys me because I would like to have the second book and the other books to the series also done. It's taking longer than I want it to.

    After getting that postcard in the mail from Russia, I've been doing a lot of thinking. I know I've said my mom nor myself wouldn't want to meet our real family, but I guess we wouldn't reject it if someone is trying to contact the family. For the past few days, I observed the celebration of Navy Day and Victory Day in Russia, just thinking of the country I wasn't able to know. For years, it has been my dream to see Russia and it's still a dream. Honestly, I would liked to have known my mother's family, my family. I felt both families missed so much of each other's lives, and now if we meet, it would feel like meeting strangers. At first, we were fine without ever knowing anything, especially the family. I've been trying to find the truth about who I am since growing up taking the African American race as my own identification, but I recently learned I'm not African American. Going through life not knowing your race or your ancestry is hard, not knowing who you are. I had to figure it out and get the information on my own.

    After a lot of thinking, I guess I would like to get to know our real family. Now that I know some of my mom's biological family reads my posts, I would like to say my family would accept the family trying to reunite. I would appreciate if anyone has information regarding our full ancestry and where we fit into the family tree. All I know is that I'm an Arab/Turkish admixture, which suggests perhaps my family came from the Turkish population of Russia. I do know also there are other family members in other countries. Well, where ever the family is from, we will accept communication. I hope it won't be a quick visit, but I prefer if the family were serious in us getting to know each other. If you keep reading, I will post more things so the family would get to know my family, but it would be nice to also get to know you. I think also it would be better to visit Russia with family who live there.

    ...Oh I almost forgot about pet updates which I have gotten a few requests about getting updates on our pets. Recent incidents made me realize it isn't just Toto being a jerk, but also Scotty. I was hoping we'd be able to get our dogs to get along soon, but we ended up having to put up gates to separate each dog. They now have their own space in the house, where Toto is in the living room and Scotty has the kitchen, back porch and master bedroom. They are territorial, in which yes, we were warned about this when getting two male dogs, but I still prefer this over getting stuck with a bunch of puppies no one wants to buy. I honestly can't imagine having more than 2 Terriers in the house.

    Recently too, I've gotten news how allergies change over time from my appointment. I've always wanted to own a cat, but never was able to. June 25th, I have an appointment for an Allergist and I would like to see if I'm still allergic to cats. I have always preferred cats over dogs, and so I hope I can have one now.

    And so, here are the pretty random updates... As usual, if there are any errors, I will fix them later.

    Some Random Updates


  • It's June 5th, marking this day for the Insecure Writer's Support Group. If you would like to learn more about it, please visit here:


    Of all the genres you read and write, which is your favorite to write in and why?


    This can be a bit tricky to answer because I am a multi-genre writer. I've experimented in several different genres mainly because I had ideas for stories that happen to be in specific genres. I actually don't read in the same genre I write in. During reading, I prefer only classic books or nonfictional books mainly relating to historic wars, my favorite is about the American Civil War, World War 2 or U.S. Presidents. I do this in order to research topics for my writing. 

    Getting on to the question though, I probably would have to say Fantasy and the reason is that I have created a document listing all of my projects. Many of my writing projects does fit into the Fantasy category, but a lot of my projects are a cross-genre and multi-genre. Early on when I began writing and that was pretty early when I was about 10 or so, my first projects were Fantasy and then I had ideas for Science Fiction and Horror. 

    I like the Fantasy genre gives writers a chance to incorporate any theme and perhaps a cross-genre. From Dark Fantasy to a story that's more a Fantasy Steampunk, I'm able to use any theme I wish to. I feel there's more flexibility and less limitations with Fantasy. I learned early on to never limit my creativity and imagination in writing especially Fiction writing, and more specifically, in Fantasy.  

    Throughout my years, I always had a vivid imagination and creativity was my most known trait. I had many ideas and writing in the Fantasy genre helped me get out all of my ideas. It has improved my creativity and allowed me to become an inventive person. Writing Fantasy, I don't have to limit my creativity and imagination, in fact, the more imaginative, the better. 

    I remember my earliest moments of showing my creativity through writing was an assignment from school (before homeschool). The teacher instructed us to come up with our own original short story about anything we wanted. I wrote a Dark Fantasy that related to an undead army and a king I believe. Well, the teacher was saying how the story was too detailed and solid for someone my age to have came up with the story. She kept accusing me of getting the whole idea from a video game or a movie or something when I did not, for that was my original creation as it was instructed. That affirmed what my family suggested for me to become a writer. As you can see through that story, I was always imaginative and my creativity was vast. That was a good way to write the Fantasy book I prefer to read and to bring out my contributions to the Fantasy genre. 

    IWSG June 5 2019

  • Merhaba everyone! In this post, I would like to give updates on my book that will be released this year. I'm still in the editing stage. I just don't want to miss any errors and would prefer to reread it over another time to make sure the book is completely error free. I have also been working on other projects, most importantly finishing the second book to the Polar Qimuktis series. I now have 177 pages for the second book, which I am disappointed I have lesser progress than usual but it's only due to my health that I still have issues with. However, I am trying to get back into writing everyday.

    So I am in the editing stage still because I know I have to put my best work out there, and I'm working hard to do that. It must be worth all of those years of saying one day. I have been studying the French language for this series. I do include French dialogue and some Fantasy words are French based. With this fact, I was checking to make sure the French is correct.

    I have also been trying to learn Cherokee and the Lakota-Sioux language. The Native American culture and languages plays a major role in the entire series. I use many words and names from different tribes, mainly the Sioux and Cherokee. I do find it harder trying to learn Indigenous languages since they're not that accessible to everyone, but I managed to get what I could for the series and I'm still gathering useful materials I can include. The POV of the first 8 or 9 chapters is a Native American woman of the Sioux tribe. This was such a coincidence I chose this tribe before the issue with the pipeline and the Standing Rock tribe, and this way, I can also honor this tribe. I made a story like this mainly for my fascination of the Native American culture. Through my years of being raised to know the Native Americans from my mom's adoptive family, I was able to see their culture just as they see it. I needed to show how beautiful their cultures, languages and names are, but without grouping Native Americans in one big category, without grouping every Indigenous ethnic group in one basket. Other non-Indigenous ethnic groups argue how they're not all the same, but I feel we should also respect that not all Indigenous groups are the same as well. I hope to have presented them well. This series does not mock them nor say how they're "savages". This series is to show a side to their culture that most cannot see due to a lack of understanding and education. The Polar Qimuktis starts off my career in bringing awareness to Native American culture.

    My studies of ancestry, I learned I'm not entirely different from the Indigenous people as I first assumed. I read an interesting article that claimed the Turkic population in Russia have connected DNA with the Native Americans. Even the Asian Pacific are connected a bit through DNA. I was shocked to learn having Turkish and Southeast Asian in my ancestry connects me to Native Americans.

    While editing the first book, I've been working on other projects such as the same Epic Fantasy I mentioned in other posts. I realized this particular series will be the darkest I've ever written with the darkest main character being that the POV is a demon, based upon a real demon I found. I have also been working to get the second book finished like I said, and also the other books to the series.

    During the time I am working on those projects, I've began working on myself in attempting to get my Living Doll lifestyle going. I started picking out the decorations for my bedroom so I can have a completely Kawaii lifestyle. Even though I say complete Kawaii, I gather some things from different cultures and not just Japan. I began to purchase items from Russia and some kitchen appliances I will snap a picture of soon, but realized my theme was changing from the Kawaii style. I fortunately picked items that can actually fit into the Kawaii theme. The kitchen set I really want is a Pikachu set! I got started, but I would like a complete set of Pikachu because I am a huge fan of Pikachu. I mean I'm a fan of the Anime version of Pikachu, not the weird live action, "Detective Pikachu". I found a few sets from Japan!

    To prepare myself for my lifestyle, one is eating healthier. Being a vegetarian doesn't necessary mean you stop eating unhealthy and I am guilty of this. I admit to becoming a processetarian, eating processed food all the time. I would like to get out of this habit, but it's hard to get rid of my snacks and cereal I like. I'm currently working on that.

    I am setting up my Youtube channel as well. The channel will feature my Living Doll life, but also it will include my writing and other stuff I share. I will have a room tour when my bedroom is complete, show of my outfits including the outfits I design and make, and teas and snacks I buy from around the world. I may purchase different tea sets for this, not sure yet. Anyway, I am currently trying to practice with my camera, video editing and also speaking in front of a camera, in which I'm not use to doing. I am trying to drop the accent and talk normally without an accent. It just happens randomly, but I want to talk in my videos without the accent. Going back and forth speaking in Russian, Turkish and Japanese has returned this accent I did learn to drop years ago, but that's where I am at the moment.

    Lastly, since some likes me including the pet updates, I will end it with the pet updates. Toto, our puppy is an okay pup, but he still has behavioral issues that needs to be addressed. There are three major issues. One, being destructive and destroying everything in his path, which is a problem. He's biting up furniture, clothes, blankets, beds and even the wall! I tried the vinegar thing, which worked, but I figured my family didn't want everything to smell like vinegar. Second, the biting which has to stop. His bites are really hard and painful and they do draw blood. My hands and arms are covered in bruises and bite marks due to it. My sister started calling him Little Vampire because many of his bites look like a Vampire bit you. At the time, it's not funny because I don't like him biting me, but unfortunately nothing has worked to stop him from doing this... yet. Third, is that Toto is a bully to our other dog, Scotty. Some examples are, when Toto is on the bed, he will bully Scotty off the bed and not allow him to sit on the bed also. He bullies him as to where he wants him to be, which I know is a disaster waiting to happen because a few times recently, we had to scramble to stop the two dogs from fighting. I would really hate if the two dogs had to be separated all the time. I hope Toto can be disciplined out of that behavior.

    And, these are the updates I wanted to share... As usual, I will make sure to fix any errors later.

    New Book Updates (and More)

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