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Archive for August 2019

  • Around 8:45 a.m., I went for my appointment at the Unity Clinic to see the surgeon/doctor who removed my gallbladder. Walking there was really hard for me, but I paced myself and got help walking into the clinic.

    I spent more time with the nurse than with the surgeon. I did answer the question was I still in pain, and the answer is yes, I am still in a lot of pain. The doctor though never offered me more pain medicine. In fact, I felt the whole appointment was rushed and as usual, I was being over talked about how I felt. Well, both said the incisions look good, but it is normal I still have pain since it's only been a week after surgery. I really hated that he pressed into my stomach, causing me more pain. I think also I spent more time in the lab for a blood test than in the room, where this woman kept saying I looked like someone she knew. I then wondered if she ever went to the school I attended before I was homeschooled.


    This is one of the incisions. As you can see, it's small which is pretty good, but that doesn't mean the pain isn't still severe. Now, I see some of the incisions trying to reopen, but I'm trying to prevent that from happening.

    I am continuing to just take Tylenol and Aleve for pain. Since I am still recovering, my boss allows me to just do paperwork until I feel better. I've been however trying to at least get back into writing, but I can do it only for a few minutes at a time and then take a break, and then I return back to it.

    I do have to say, I am very disappointed in the healthcare service I received all this year. This was the reason why I disliked going to the doctor and I prefer to only go when it's serious. Being a healthcare professional myself, it's a shame I don't have faith in the quality of our healthcare and other professionals. I hate how healthcare professionals seem to not care at all about their patients, and they lose sight of why they even become healthcare professionals in the first place. If they had of stalled one more month, I found out I would've been dead, and no one seemed to even care. I dislike all of these disparities within the U.S. healthcare system in every way. With my experiences, I would like to continue speaking out regarding this serious problem of how people receive mediocre and poor quality services. During the 8 or 9 years I've worked as a Nursing Assistant, I learned it shouldn't matter where a person comes from, their colour, their economic background or how they dress; the important thing is that you treat everyone with the same respect, dignity and you make sure you give them the services they need.However, most healthcare professionals wishes to know all of these facts and treat the patient according to a person's economic background, their job, nationality, race and any other reason they may give patients different care.

    With my experiences this year, I am not sure about going back to another physician. If so, I would not want to see the same doctor who went on vacation without leaving me in another doctor's care when I have something life threatening health problems. If I ever need this sort of care, I wouldn't go to Allina and I may not want to be seen here in the United States. 

    Day 8 of Recovery

  • It's been 6 days since my gallbladder surgery and I wanted to share an update. Posting about this has helped me get through my recovery process. These past 6 days has been really hard for me. I've been in excruciating pain and I haven't been able do much of anything. I've been too weak and not being able to eat anything. For the first few days, I haven't eaten in two days, but my mom kept trying to get me to eat, but I couldn't get pass a nauseous feeling. I could only sip a bit of water, but my mom kept introducing me to food. I had to gradually return to eating since in the hospital I wasn't allowed to eat anything, but that got me in a habit of not eating at all. Now I have been eating, but I think I've been eating the wrong foods because my stomach has been very irritated.

    I assumed this surgery would get rid of the episodes of pain in my upper abdomen, but it did not. Strangely, I am still experiencing this severe pain in my stomach. This made me think Dr. Cody was right in stating he doesn't think the gallbladder was the only reason to my problems, and it was one of a few things that gave me trouble. My whole digestive system seemed ruined from the gallbladder and how it was made very differently than other people's gallbladders, and that's why it was advised to get my gallbladder removed.

    Well, day 6, I am still in severe pain and I am out of my pain medicine prescribed to me. However, since this serious drug abuse epidemic in America, most physicians don't like refilling prescriptions even if they see the patient really needs it. Well, I don't think Dr. Cody gave me enough because 15 wasn't enough for someone who just had surgery. Luckily, my family has pain medicine at home, but it hasn't been too helpful. Well, sometimes is has helped me go to sleep and I felt I needed the sleep.

    I've tried pushing myself in returning to my daily work and activities, but I only set myself back when doing this. I know it was advised that I be extremely careful because I am a huge fall risk, which was why I had to be constantly monitored in the hospital. Each time I got up to use the bathroom, a nurse came into the room to make sure I wouldn't fall and injure myself. The same thing sort of has been happening at home where my family makes sure I don't have anything in the way to prevent any injury.

    I have four bandages on my stomach. Would you like to see?



    Here it is. The on lowest is covering my naval. One of the incisions were in my naval, causing soreness in my naval now. I would like to get them changed, but I was told I wasn't suppose to change the bandages at home. The surgeon is suppose to change my bandages on the 26 when he examines my incisions. These incisions are very painful and it's been hard walking, in which, I've been walking hunched over. Plus, I can only rest sitting up and not lying all the way down. When returning home, I tried laying down on the bed on my back, but it was a disaster. I found myself unable to get back up and I had difficulty breathing as it was in the hospital. I noticed when I'm lying flat down, my chest and neck closes up.

    I was told my throat will be sore for awhile due to the tube pushed down my throat to help me breathe during surgery. My throat is still sore, in fact, there is a sore at the top of my mouth that doesn't want to heal. It's more like a gash at the top, which makes it hard to eat and drink. The gash is now hot to touch and I know these are signs of an infection. Despite this, I do have to say, this new Apple Juice by Honest that I do know was created by Jessica Alba has helped during my recovery process.

    So, I'll give more updates on my recovery progress. 

    Day 6 of Recovery

  • I have to say, these has been the worst few days of my life. Currently, I am at home, but before my discharge time because of a mean nurse that seemed to spoil the bunch. She was very nasty and our boss advised to put a complaint out on the nurse. So, we did, especially after the nurse was constantly insulting and for some reason, had something personally against me and my mom.

    First, I will start off with Monday when I went for an appointment at the Fairview clinic in Fridley to see a general surgeon for my gallbladder removal. We did arrive there at 7a.m. even though my appointment was at 9a.m. The Nurse who was supposed to be prepping me before the surgeon, she was yelling at the top of her lungs at us saying we're supposed to have came at 9:00 am, but she was very angry we arrived early. However, I had been in excruciating pain really since January due to misdiagnoses and physicians who were unwilling to help me. I had severe pain during this time and didn't know if I could sit there for too long. So after arguing with this Nurse for a few minutes, before I was even weighed, I told her I just wanted to go without being seen. Nonchalantly, the Nurse said, "Okay." The surgeon never called or anything. I did think going to Marple Grove was too far anyway.

    I just wanted to go home and rest, but my mom insisted that I don't give up. She drove me to Allina Unity Hospital. At the time, my mom and I never heard of the reviews which speaks against seeking care here. I just wanted somewhere closer to home. After the encounter with the Nurse however, I was frustrated and annoyed with everyone because as I stated, I was sick of being treated poorly and people not helping me when I am gravely ill. I was taken in the back immediately to get some vitals. I had a fever, which was a concern at the moment. Now, everyone was finally on board that I had gallstones that needed to be removed. I continued to suffer from a UTI, but it still seemed no one wanted to give anything for the infection.

    I was given another ultrasound before meeting my new surgeon, Dr. Cody who at first the introduction was a bit rocky, but later on, I realized he lightened up and was more diplomatic. I did share my symptoms with him, and he told me he feels the gallstones are most likely not the only problem I have, but it may help with one issue, but not getting rid of all of my symptoms. Usually with just gallstones. there is no pain in someone's entire stomach which made me a bit curious what else was going on.

    My mom told me Dr. Cody said my gallbladder opening was smaller than the average person's gallbladder. Due to how long every physician waited as long as they did, it became very dangerous. I didn't realize how close to death I was.

    This was my very first surgery, in which I never knew what to expect. Well, I did being a healthcare professional myself and research, but not at a personal level. Going under anesthesia wasn't a bad feeling at all. It just felt like my usual tiredness after all night of writing and finally going to sleep. I blacked out, not remembering anything else, but then I found myself waking up and this guy sitting beside my bed, asking how was I feeling. I didn't like the feeling of waking up because I tried hard to wake up, but couldn't wake up as I wanted to. Everything was blurry as well. I was in severe pain, but I don't remember anything else but being brought into a room for post-surgery patients. At that time, I really hated how I felt.

    The first two Nurses who assisted me at night I do have to say were diplomatic and professional, and I do appreciate how nice they were. I mean, they all rushed to me when I said I had difficulty breathing and a very nice woman explained kindly how I will be in some pain and it's going to take some time to feel better.

    However, since there is a complaint, I will share the full experience since this will also be viewed by those in charge at Unity. So, her name was Kathy and the number was 62302 who made the end of the experience bad. As soon as she first stepped into the room, Kathy was yelling about the circulation in my legs and preventing blood clots, in which this was something my mom and I did know being healthcare professionals. I even made a post on leg circulation. My mom was trying to explain to Kathy she's also a nurse and has been a nurse for over 25 years. I stepped in and said she would know that about preventing blood clots, and it was only because of her tone and how she was saying it. I don't like hearing people disrespecting my mom at all. Finally, my mom said she's getting her Master's degree in the healthcare major. Kathy says, "Good for you."

    Next up, she was yelling at my mom about going down to the cafeteria, but rudely insisting on ordering something from the menu.

    Well, the most insulting comment was how Kathy kept yelling at me saying how I need to get up and walk around. I can't just sit in bed all day, which was an insult to someone who's a Nursing Assistant, full time writer, game developer, fashion designer, blogger and who is creating their own e-commerce store. I was like, are you kidding me? I am a home-healthcare Nursing Assistant who goes around helping those with physical and mental disabilities in their home because they don't have anyone else to help them. That isn't anyone who just sits around the house all day. Yeah, she said it as if I don't have a life, a job or anying, but I just lay in bed day-in and day-out, doing absolutely nothing. How would she know what I do all day?

    She asked how would I rate my pain. Honestly, it was excruciating and so I answered truthfully saying it was a 10. Then all of a sudden, she says, "seriously?" Laughing. She said there was no way my pain could be at a 10 and how unrealistic that was, but how did she know how bad my pain was? I already knew how the scale 1-10 worked, I think everyone even non-healthcare professionals does understand how it works and what it means. No, I wasn't being unrealistic and yes, I did know what I was saying, in which it wouldn't have been unrealistic for a person who just had surgery to get their gallbladder removed a few hours ago. Someone who was in agonizing pain, that was very insulting and insensitive to say the least. For hours, I was in pain, but she stalled and didn't want to give me any pain medicine, a good thing my mom had a Tylenol in her purse that I was able to take. She was very nonchalant I was in pain.

    I was supposed to get discharged, but she purposely stalled and waited, knowing I was in severe pain. My medicine I was prescribed hadn't been filled also, and it wouldn't be filled until about 7:00 p.m., which was a long time for someone to wait who just had surgery. I'm not sure what was Kathy's deal and why she hated me so much when neither of us hadn't of did anything to her. So, I just wanted to leave without the discharge papers and the prescription since I was in so much pain and no one was willing to give me anything else. We left, and when we were leaving, the Nurse made a joke out of a tragedy my mom told her about that happened at the Target parking lot. I didn't think a 4 year old boy and his mother getting ran over and drug underneath a vehicle was funny, in which the entire staff behind the counter thought it was amusing. I thought they all were very insensitive and it was inappropriate to have laughed about a child and his mom getting hit by a car being healthcare professionals. Obviously they don't care anything at all about patients and I would feel very uncomfortable being under their care again.

    I just hated how she always had to be right and how she had to be more experienced and more knowledgeable than my mom, and of course, I didn't know anything because I'm nothing but a slob who lays in bed all day without no life or job or career. During the entire time, my mom still tried to get her to lighten up and remained professional and nice to her even though she there seemed to be something about us she loathed. I wasn't sure what it was about us that she disliked, and why she thought she needed to sabotage me and personally attack me and my mom. We never did or say anything that would offend or disrespect her, but every word she spoke, it was insensitive and cruel. 

    I said this whole thing so I could give my full experience and since they did wish for me to share all that happened at this hospital. I was very disappointed at the end. This did make me skeptical about returning to this hospital for anything else.

    So, I am currently trying to recover from surgery. It may take awhile...        

    Surgery-Day and Post-Surgery Day

  • Since I am sharing health updates, some of these posts now may be more frequent. I am glad I started sharing my experiences of getting mediocre care and my illness because this has been getting me more of cooperation by medical professionals. I feel however I shouldn't have to do this in order to receive help.

    So yesterday at 7:00 a.m., I went for an ultrasound for my upper abdomen, where I get most of my pain and these episodes of extreme pain. I went back home and a few hours later, the doctor called saying I had a lot of gallstones that did require surgery. Reading the posts seemed to have caused some guilt since the doctor at first did not have any interest in helping me. I don't care really, I just want to be done with this. So it was theorized I had been passing gallstones this whole time which caused my severe pain and bleeding. I was diagnosed with a very bad UTI (Urinary Tract Infection), but twice, the medicine I was prescribed I wasn't able to take. Well both times, I got allergic reactions to them. The doctor never prescribed anything else for the infection, but it never went away. In fact, it seemed to have spreaded which was a concern. My recent symptoms match an inflammatory pelvic issue, which does cause sterilization if not treated. So, I'm trying to find someone who cares enough to help me with the infection. So far, I can't find anyone who will try to find me medicine I'm not allergic to.

    From the ultrasound anyway, it was also mentioned my liver is not in good shape, but right now, the gallstones have to be taken care of first. It was recommended I have the surgery before Monday. I was told if I have another episode again, I should go to the ER.

    So, I will give updates if something new happens and thank you for reading this. 

    Health Update 3

  • Not sure how long it has been since I posted, but I haven't been able to turn on my computer since I last posted. I will give these health updates because my family agrees to continue to go public with my story since this is such ridiculous treatment I am receiving.

    So, the current doctor who is suppose to help me, he says I'm at dangerous levels, but then him and the other staff retracts it, saying it's nothing wrong with me. I mean, they know it's something there, but it seems as if they are trying really hard not to help me. Just yesterday, the staff told me the doctor was already on vacation and so a nurse would give me my lab results, in which I got another blood test yesterday. My family and I keep calling because of the severe pain I'm in and how gravely ill I am, but everyone keeps treating me like an after thought. I mean, of course it wouldn't bother them since they are not the ones feeling this severe pain.

    Just today though, the doctor called himself even though he was suppose to be on vacation and said my levels were at a life threatening number and suggested to schedule for an ultrasound. The doctor mentioned I had liver sludge and gallstones, but we were frustrated he decided to wait all this time to share this information. The liver sludge does require surgery, but the medical professionals for some reason stalls in getting me care. I mean, I am doing all of the things they lecture us about doing when these things happens. I tried getting help before it became a life threatening problem, but no one has been willing to help me, but give me half services. Their nonchalance annoys me, especially when I hear everyday how America is the leading country for healthcare, services and technology, but it's a shame I don't have access to these top of the line services. As a Nursing Assistant, it gets hard helping others when I need help myself.

    As far as for my health, I'm not sure what else to do besides go to the appointment for the ultrasound.

    For my writing, I haven't been able to get any work done unfortunate due to my health getting worse recently. Since I did log into my computer today, I'll try to do some work until the severe pain returns. I have started a new project for a game, and that's currently what I'm doing at the moment. I will make sure to give even more updates whenever I can. 

    Health Update 2 (And More)


  • It's time for another Insecure Writer's Support Group post. If you would like to learn more about it, please visit here:

    Has your writing ever taken you by surprise? For example, a positive and belated response to a submission you'd forgotten about or an ending you never saw coming?

    Since I outline, that has eliminated most of the surprise out of the writing part. Well, rereading the Polar Qimuktis book, I was a bit surprised to realize how dark it was. It's not as dark as other work, but there are some dark elements in the series. I am also surprised of how dark some of my writing is. Dark, I mean writing a lot about demons and hell. 

    There has been some changes to a few projects that I did surprise me even though I made those changes. They were just sudden changes. For example, one Thriller project I'm working on, I added a Ukrainian character. This changed the book's theme since I wanted it to be a Western. At first, this was the way I wanted it, but recent changes also changed the book. This isn't the POV, but it is one of the main characters. I'm just keep going to see if I like this version of the book. Some of these surprises are similar. 

    Well, I think those are the only things I can think of.  

    IWSG: August 7 2019

  • These updates are a bit random as they always are. First though, I am glad to say I'm making more progress with my writing projects. For the second Polar Qimuktis book, the pages are actually going up for the first time! This is really good. I'm trying to pace myself due to my health, but I am still making good progress.

    Recently I went to the ER by ambulance because my mom claimed I went unconscious. I don't remember going unconscious though. Still, no one can pinpoint what the problem is, which I found the ER to be a waste of time. I just wonder why is this such a mystery diagnosis thing?

    I've been trying to get the hang of Twitch as well as YouTube, but I really would like to get my Living Doll appearance together before showing my face. I'm disappointed because my health delays my transformation progress because now no one will approve me for plastic surgery.

    I would like to thank those who view my gameplay on Twitch even though I'm still trying to get the hang of it. I won't add a camera to it until you know, the Living Doll transformation. I will be streaming both in Russian and English. I want to be able to write Russian on my computer, but found it impossible to. I may purchase another computer with Russian keyboard so I'm able to write in Russian, and not just on my phone.

    An important thing, I learned my mom's biological family has been reading my posts as I stated before, and this was how they discovered my family. I do know we have family in different countries, but I see mainly the relatives in Ukraine and Russia trying to contact us the most than any other. I know we should have family in Turkey and other parts of West Asia, which I was getting contacted by people who wanted to give information related to this. I do remember receiving strange messages on the home phone about someone wanting to contact us, but unfortunately, those were the times my family did not pick up the phone. Now we do answer our phone, but I do note we don't pick up from unfamiliar numbers on our cell phones, especially if we see a foreign number. So it's best to try the home phone.

    I've been trying to post stuff so the family could get to know our family, but we also would like to get to know our relatives because we still don't know who you are. However, please feel free to contact us any time, for we are now open to communicating with our real family. Wherever you are from, we accept your communication. I was wondering how many in the family are U.S. Citizens, but it doesn't matter if you're not. We do accept all relatives are who serious in reuniting and trying to get to know each other. I really like having my family as my friends. In fact, I prefer it. I saw a few on Twitch who seemed hesitant to contact me since my other posts says my family have no interest in meeting our real family. I think my family feels differently now, and would be willing to meet our family. So, don't hesitate to contact me on Twitch if you would like to get in contact with our family for a reunion. I would love to connect with more family on Twitch and possibly play games together, hopefully we play the same games.

    I provided for everyone the best ways to contact me through the contact me page on this blog. It would really be nice if someone has information about our family history, ancestry and race, but that is also fine if you don't have this information. If you would like to learn more about my family, you can continue reading these posts, but also feel free to read from my other two blogs that may share a bit more personal stuff. Mixed Race Blog and this one Paranormal and Lifestyle Blog.

    That's pretty much it, but I'll make sure to post more updates and random stuff soon. As usual, I'll fix any errors later on.

    Some New Updates

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