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Archive for October 2019

  • Hope everyone is doing well. I wasn't going to post for today, but something compelled me to. I am spending my Halloween a bit differently this year. Well, during this time, it does inspire me to work on projects that can fit into the Halloween and Harvest season. However, I'm in reflection after recently finding out one of my favourite Youtuber passed away. The Channel is called Grandpa Kitchen, where Narayana Reddy cooks a variety of foods to feed to children in India. My family has been watching this channel for some time now and grown quite fond of seeing Narayana. Here is the video where I found out.


    My family were all saddened to know he passed away, but you can tell this was inevitable since he no longer did the cooking or anything on the channel. It can be interesting how someone you never met can impact you so, but he has impacted many lives. Narayana spent these years being a service to others which takes a lot of courage. There's just not many people in the world who cares about others and it's hard finding those who would give their time to helping those besides themselves. He can inspire others to be more considerate for less fortunate individuals.

    This is one of many reasons why I'm in reflection today. I just had to at least say something about Grandpa Kitchen when I've watched this channel for years. It's gonna be awhile to get over the news. 

    I just wanted to post about this. I'll post again soon.

    For this Halloween...

  • So, I received some questions I wanted to answer because I am unsure when I'll be able to get back on my computer.


    I received a few questions wondering if anyone ever showed me a picture of how bad my organs seem to be, especially my stomach. The answer is no. I was a bit curious after seeing one doctor obviously horrific by what he saw when looking at my stomach. This is when he told my entire stomach was literately bleeding. But then with the very poor communication and everything, I doubt they would let me see a picture.

    As for the cancer risk, I hate how I found out because no one told me. I found out by going on this site called MyChart where you can see your health records, but I feel it was impersonal and rude to remain silent about my obvious health problems. Well, it is my liver, and it seems I am on the brink of having liver cancer. It does seem the cancer can be reversed or prevented though.

    I do wish I was warned beforehand the problems of not having a gallbladder, but nothing was said to me. I learned it is dangerous for me to skip meals, in which I was use to eating one time a day before the surgery. If I do skip a meal, my entire body trembles and there are symptoms similar to a diabetic. That is why my family thinks I may be developing diabetes due to me not having a gallbladder. Many foods I cannot digest anymore such as sweets/sugar, caffeine, fatty foods, pasta, tomatoes, salads and several other things. This limits what I can eat significantly. I also have permanent blurred vision and sensitivity to lights and different colors; confusion and poor memory, which did suggest there is a neurological problem as some have suggested.

    The other stuff I'm not sure about due to my other ongoing health issues.

    I am still pursuing becoming a Living Doll, but must wait until my health problems are dealt with first.

    Another question that's unrelated, and the answer is, yes, I will start posting some stuff in Turkish and Russian. Right now, I can only write these languages on my phone and everyone knows I suck at writing on a phone. I have live streamed in Russian on Twitch plenty of times and I will do this in the future. Thank you for your interest in my ancestral culture, and I will share what I learned about it. I think I am tapped out, and have to share this in another post though. 

    Before I forget...

  • I just posted so everyone would know I'm not dead since that last post of being a cancer risk and having trouble with my heart. I wasn't really sure what to post, but I realized how long it's been since I posted something.

    Well, I have been continuing migrating from Google Docs to OneDrive where I will write for now on. It's been a long process since I have many projects, in which this made me realize the number of projects I have. Do to this, I've been still working on taking my work off Google Docs. I think I am just about done, but just have the manga projects.

    Also, I have been trying to get the hang of Twitch. I'm still new to live streaming, and I'm trying to improve our internet. I learned living up north as I do can affect the internet and we do get lots of internet disconnections. Recently, we've been getting frequent blackouts.

    Well, I'm not sure what else to write and so I'll end it there.  

    A Random Update

  • Merhaba to anyone who is reading this. Today was the only day I was able to post, but I cannot get over the poor quality care I've been receiving. No, I am not feeling any better, and everyone's lack of concern is getting ridiculous now. I am disappointed how I've been treated by every healthcare professional I seeked help from.

    Since I continue to have pain and complications even after my surgery, it is fair to say the problem was never resolved. I just hate how the surgeon and plus the doctor I recently made my primary doctor, had ridden me off and assumed they would be done with me after the surgery; neither were listening as I mentioned ongoing problems, as long with serious complications related to the surgery. While one told me those problems were for the primary doctor, the other insisted I see the surgeon about my complications, but both making it perfectly clear they had no interest in having me as a patient again. I recently removed the doctor as my primary doctor due to this, although he denies what his staff already relayed to me.

    I recently went for an MRI as I stated before in a previous post, but I never really heard anything back nor for my blood test. I did this with the specialist, but now I constantly get results from my blood test in the mail. However, how is someone suppose to understand the results if they do not work in the lab? What annoys me is how everyone continues to say everything looks perfectly normal; but this mirrors the prior incident, where they kept telling me nothing was wrong even though I needed surgery.

    When going on MyChart, I saw five health issues that was claimed I currently have. This is weird since no one contacted me at all about any of these findings. That's how it's been the entire year. There is very poor communication with everything, where I'm left in the dark about everything. For every test and procedure, they are silent, never explaining anything to me or giving me any papers that shares information about the test or procedure I just had. Plus, for tests, they all wait for a long time to decide to tell me what was found.

    One problem, Arrhythmia, affects the heart where it claims my heart has a malfunction in the electrical system. I read about it and this perfectly matches my symptoms. Reading on the treatment, according to the Mayo Clinic, Arrhythmia requires a doctor's care and sometimes can be solved with surgery.

    Second, Anemia, which was something my mom knew I had for years. The other three relates to the upper abdomen, which does need a prescription and some hospitalization (being a huge cancer risk), but I do not trust to be under a hopsital's care how I've been treated by everyone. I was very angry no one told me anything about what was found, instead, I keep being told there were no findings at all. I wonder why are they trying to cover up the obvious health problems I have?

    The specialist who performed the endoscope procedure seemed horrified by what he saw, claiming to have seen erosions, ulcers and inflammation in my entire stomach, wondering why I took Aleve. Well, I was told to take Aleve for pain; in addition, no one was willing to give me anything for the pain, not caring I was in severe pain. Dr. Sandozi said this, but afterwards he was silent as everyone else. He never was willing to help with the healing process with my stomach. No one did, which I felt was immoral to completely drop me as a patient after finding this.

    I am still in severe pain and is gravely ill, but I've been figuring out things on my own and dealing with these problems without help. For my experiences, I do not recommend anyone trust the company Allina with their health. 

    This is Ridiculous Now...


  • It's time for another Insecure Writer's Support Group post. If you would like to learn more about it, please visit here:

    It's been said that the benefits of becoming a writer who does not read is that all your ideas are new and original. Everything you do is an extension of yourself, instead of a mixture of you and another author. On the other hand, how can you expect other people to want your writing, if you don't enjoy reading? What are your thoughts?

    I do agree with that because I noticed when I listened a lot to the self-proclaimed writing experts, I found myself getting inspiration from the books I read, since they all tell you, you have to read being a writer and you're suppose to only read modern books similar to your genre. I do see how when you're reading as a writer, you often take things from the books you read either unintentional or intentionally. 

    I honestly only read classic books which is why sometimes I pick up 19th century spelling, words and phrases. This is pretty much it what I pick up from reading these books. I do worry about accidentally developing characters or my stories similar to other writer's work. Well, when I was a teen, I often had difficulties not taking inspiration from the stuff I read such as writing style and characters, but now that I'm older, I am able to read things without taking any inspiration or accidentally recycling ideas. 

    I do prefer classic reads although these experts advise against reading classic books, and how writers should read more modern books than older one; I enjoy classic books than modern books. Well, I do prefer to carefully choose my books and not waste my time on books with topics I don't like reading about. I usually though do not read in my genre, but I tend to read more educational books where I'm learning something about a topic I'm writing about. 

    I do however notice it can be beneficial to at least read something, but I don't think it has to be in the same genre you're writing in because I don't read in none of the genres I write in. I found myself creating my own phrases, story development and finding my own writing style instead of copying other's writing styles. 

    Well, I don't think it's bad if writers choose to read or not being a writer. People are different and must do whatever is best for that individual...

    IWSG: October 2, 2019

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